My First Fan-Fiction pt.1

[the_Bamfette]

Okay, guys, I've finally had the guts to show what I got. The first chapter's really long, so I'm only going to post it in parts. I'd say it's rating is about PG-13/R for content, R just to be safe. I started working on it over a year ago, so things are outdated, to be honest I had originally planned the events to take place this year, which in the story's continuity would be a short time in the future. It's a fantasy/horror type fiction, and I tweaked characters/events to fit my needs. Feedback would be greatly appreciated, but try to be nice, I never claimed to be a great writer... Oh, well, with that off my chest here it is, part 1 of well, part 1 in the beginning of my Darkstalker series:

Chapter 1:
Darkest Days

?There are times when I?m just a shell.
I do not feel anything, for anyone.
All I feel is hollow and bruised, used up and misused, forced to be someone I don?t want to be.
I am alone, except for my rage.
My rage,
My pain,
My hate,
My darkest days.?
--Darkest Days, Stabbing Westward

It stands alone like the Ancient Sphinx, an everlasting monument to a forgotten civilization. Guarded by the shadows of the massive forest surrounding it, an old caravan sits; its dark wooded shell worn by age, in a quiet glade amidst the massive flora of Germany?s Black Forest. There was a time when the sounds of children and the energetic fervor of dancing echoed throughout the landscape. For years, it stood at the center of a thriving gypsy tribe. Entertainers and showmen at heart, many worked and played as performers in the traveling circus, including Margali Szardos herself; the resident occupant of the caravan with her three children; Jimaine, Stefan, and their adopted brother Kurt. Now that time has passed. The children have grown and the circus has long since moved on, but the old wooden home still remains, quiet and undisturbed as the march of time has advanced; unknown beyond its boundaries. The sorceress mother, Margali; now withered and aged by time like her surroundings, still occasionally resides there, sometimes accompanied by her adult daughter; the magician known to most as Amanda Sefton. Yet inhabited, the mature wooden structure remains silent, harboring forbidden secrets within its walls that have been concealed for over a decade, unwilling to release the unknown powers they hold. Until today?

The thick wall of silence that has cloaked the caravan for years is shattered by the wailing cry of a newborn babe. An infant girl, seemingly only hours old, sits huddled in a darkened corner of the small interior, attended by a few dully comforting toys. Transparent tears soak her tiny round face as they stream down over her reddened cheeks. The small hole of her mouth is fixated in the round shape of a scream; her thin pink lips stretched to its limits. Her miniscule body is barely larger than the stuffed doll placed at her feet. Tiny strands of dark curly hair hang gently over her soft round head. She is the perfect vision of a needy newborn. Yet there seems to be something alien about the child--her features resembling those of the elfin toy flopped over at her small feet. The cries she issues forth are echoed throughout the entire gypsy home. They have been continuous for the past several minutes; unidentifiable whether they are cries of urgency or cries of fear at the unknown events occurring nearby.

Not far away, the air is charged with electrical energy as sparks of magic fill the atmosphere of the tiny room. An unnatural wind blows wildly while the area alternately glows eerily in green and red colors. Spells of unfathomable power are aimed at two opponents who relish in the surrounding chaos. Arcane symbols are weaved through the air and ancient languages are uttered through the intensity. It is power that could topple a mountain or alter the course of nature, a fury that is concentrated in its full potential aimed at each one of the sorceress opponents. Amanda Sefton lets loose some of her most powerful spells, seemingly ignoring her daughter's frantic cries. Salty beads of sweat run down her pale face with the strain; she is obviously worn and weakened by her recent birth. Amanda stares vehemently at her opponent, wondering if every motherly instinct has left her, replaced only by the murderous lust for revenge and power. She is stronger than Amanda is, and the weakened sorceress knows this all too well, but Amanda must fight her, for if her mother gains possession of the screaming baby, their future is lost. Margali Szardos stands opposite of her daughter, the effects of age all since gone from her body. Every energy blast, every spell that is aimed at her is effortlessly deflected by her own shield. She smiles with every hit; she knows that she will claim victory in this duel. She acts like a huntress, biding her time until her prey is weakened enough to be vulnerable for the final blow; the spoils of her victory imprinted in delightful memory. Amanda is growing weaker, but in the heat of the battle, yells her defiance at her mother:

?This ends here and now mother! I won?t let you take my daughter!?

Margali replies; the exhaustiveness in her own daughter?s voice is not present in hers as she speaks:
?Don?t be a fool, girl, this has been our family?s destiny for generations! The time has come once again to appoint a new sorceress; and if you will not accept your duties, then your daughter will take your place!?

?Never! Her destiny, like mine, shall be her own to decide! I?ll never let you have her; I will die first!?

?A bold statement, Jimaine; but useless nonetheless. You are worn and tired; I can see your energy fading. Give up daughter. This fight is over. The child will come with me, and fulfill her destiny. Try as you might, but no one has ever escaped their fate, and those who defy it are doomed to perish!?

The battle has finally taken its toll on Amanda. She kneels, panting desperately; trying to find the energy to continue her assault. Margali seems damaged, but still has enough energy to conjure up her most devastating spell.

?Goodbye, daughter...?

The energy blast is finally released, launching headlong into Amanda. Instinctively, she raises her magic shield, but it only seems to delay the spell for a second as it strikes her body. A weak scream exits her mouth as her body illuminates with hot pain. As quickly as it started, it is over, as her lifeless body falls to the floor, her only thoughts the entire time on her own daughter, ?Katerina??

Margali hovers above her daughter's lifeless body. Sadness fills her face as she pays a moment of silence to her fallen victim; she has lost two children now. She whispers sadly,

"If only you could truly understand this, my dear daughter. It is a dire consequence to face, but it must be done. The demon tyrant must be destroyed, for not only the sake of our family, but for the world. I know now that you and I have no chance of defeating him, our last hope lies in my granddaughter. She is destined to have great powers, and I will not let them go to waste. You feared for your own future, but I fear for the earth's future; she must be trained."

Giving her final respects, Margali walks to the dark corner to claim her prize. In response to the death of her mother, the baby's cries only increased. It acts like a beacon that draws the grandmother to the huddled mass. Margali looks lovingly at the terrified girl; "How much like her father she looks", she ironically thinks. She gently picks her up and whispers soothing words of condolence as they both soon disappear in a flash of energy. Once more the caravan is silent, its dark secrets forever lost in the march of time.

[BlueElfEars]

Please may I have some more?

------------------
Essence of Elf: "BAMF- Kick it up a notch!"

[MoonbeamDancer]

YEAH!!!!!! ME TOO, ME TOO, ME TOO!!!!!

[wonderlass]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MoonbeamDancer:
YEAH!!!!!! ME TOO, ME TOO, ME TOO!!!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
yeah!!!!
im w/ them!!
its really good!
i printed it out while i was at the library becuase it cuaght my attention, and i after i read it i found myself dissapointed becuase it was only four pages:P
it seems pretty apparant to me that you have an influence.. i cant quite put my finger on who.
but i would really like to har some more!
hows that for a lil feedback?
(note the message icon on mine and blue elfs message )

[Fasheem]

You killed Amanda! I love you!

It's well-written and it has good descriptions (same thing) but well, I don't know, it has a baby in it who seems to be the main character. Babies, ugh. This isn't going to be a "chosen one" type story, is it? What I mean is, Kurt show up soon?

Dialogue seems over-done but when you consider who's talking, it fits. It might make me cringe, but it fits.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>"Try as you might, but no one has ever escaped their fate, and those who defy it are doomed to perish!"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*squirms* Those sorcerer types. Always with the dramatics.

[the_Bamfette]

Hey thanks guys! I know the dialogue's overdone, but I was never good at dialogue. I much like doing first-person pieces better. Influence? I have a lot of them! I can't really say one person, but I really enjoy Stephen King, Clive Barker, H.P. Lovecraft, and of course, Warren Ellis. I don't know, anything I read or see could have influence on me on anything! Anyway, here's some more! Four pages, huh? And that was just the introduction! Warning on this part, though, I kill someone else off, and in a violent way. The rest of the story does surround the character of Darkstalker, but Kurt's on his way! He's at the end of this chapter, and becomes a main character through the rest of the story. I took Kurt on a darker side, though. Alright on with the story!:

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Although Illyana's transformation into a teenager was instant, Katerina's took two years because although she spent much of her time in Limbo, she was also raised on Earth, in Germany, and has learned enough to make her of average intelligence for her age. She is fluent in German, English, and the ancient language spoke by "Amanda" in Unlimited #19.

2 Years Later?

Dusty sand covers the arid land. There is no wildlife around and all signs of civilization are vacant. A mysterious wind blows over the desert--its origin undeterminable against the red-orange sky. This is the dimension known as Limbo, an adjacent dimension to that of earth, where daemons and supernatural creatures dwell in timeless space. Amidst the barren landscape lies a surprisingly human figure. Margali Szardos gazes into the endless desert, reliving her worst memories. It has been two years, but still the murder of her daughter haunts her memories in the most vivid fashion. Tears well in her eyes as the thoughts of the events of that day are replayed in her mind. She shares her feelings to herself; she cannot allow her pupil to see her this way, it is a sign of weakness. Katerina has been Margali's best pupil; in the two years they have been in Limbo and on earth, Katerina has aged to a teenager, with sorceress skills that surpass even Margali. She does not know the consequences of the events that brought her here, she believes her mother died at childbirth and her father had left before she was born. Margali cannot allow her to know yet; she must carry out her task to destroy the demon Belasco.

Her thoughts are suddenly interrupted as she catches a glimpse of a figure out of the corner of her eye. Whirling around, she lets loose waves of energy that send up clouds of lifeless dust that race on either side of the demonic figure that stands behind. Belasco replies with a sarcastic sneer:

?Very impressive, Margali. You made my boots dirty.?

?That is only a fraction of my power demon, the next will take your head!?

?Please human, you know very well you have not the powers to defeat me.?

?It doesn?t matter, Belasco, you?re downfall is soon at hand, and Limbo will be returned to its rightful ruler.?

?Ah, yes, the secret weapon you?ve been so diligently training to kill me. You fool, this is my domain; did you think you could hide your secrets from me? The ground you stand on, the very air surrounding you; they are my eyes and ears; I see and know all! Though I must admit I am impressed, you are a clever little bitch. However, you won?t have the pleasure of seeing me die anytime soon. I on the other hand, will enjoy watching your body rot in Limbo?s deserts.?

Angered by his words, the old magician barely notices the silent, dark figure that springs from behind; the only defining features are the fierce eyes behind the black mask and the glint of a weapon in the assassin?s right hand. The blade of a sword meets an energy field as Margali attempts to deflect the sudden attack. Margali is surprised at the form of her would-be killer. It is not one of Belasco?s minions from his endless demon horde; it is an unmistakably human form, younger and smaller than Margali?s frail old body. The fine musculature and petite body are framed in an obsidian body suit; tattooed with unfamiliar designs. A violet cape billows behind, moving with the swift movements of the young assassin. It is attached at the silver bracelets set against the long black gloves covering clawed fingers and extending from matching shoulder armor. Medium length black hair follows the flowing cape, with the face covered by a black mask hiding any facial features except the fierce glowing eyes. The attacker is obviously a young woman, faster and stronger than her older victim is. Belasco watches untouched from the sidelines, the smile of victory formed on his red face.

The two magicians fight with a fury unmatched even by the duel Margali had with her daughter two years ago. The black-clad woman attacks hard and swiftly--one hand swinging the unique sword and the other launching powerful spells. Margali manages to deflect every attack and counter with her own spells. It is the perfect match of the power of youth and the patience of experience. Though Belasco evilly grins at the sideline as he realizes youth is the obvious victor in this battle as the older sorceress begins to sway under the younger magician?s swift and furious blows. It is in between the attacks that Margali begins to see something familiar about the curious sword her opponent attacks her with. The shine of it, the arcane symbols carved in the blade and the strange hilt lead Margali to the reason her opponent seems so powerful as she recognizes the occult blade, the soulsword.

Despite her dire revelation about the origin of the young assassin?s greater power, Margali fights with more fury than before, even more determined to win against her opponent. Seeing the weapon and the great skill of the black assassin, Margali begins to imagine that the black sorceress that even now is closer to claiming another victim must have murdered her granddaughter. Mixed emotions of hate, sadness and anger rage in Margali?s mind; murderous vengeance is all she can feel as she faces her opponent, but it is too late. All she can do is release a shocked scream as her opponent finally finds an opening in Margali?s defense. The cold mystical steel passes through her body, tearing the sorceress?s soul as easily as the tender flesh surrounding it. The sword rips through bone and organs as it pierces through her back; staining her garbs a dark red. The blood splatters on the dusty ground, exploding from her torn costume. Only a sudden gasp passes through the old woman?s mouth as blood begins to well up from her pierced lungs. As quickly as it was thrust through, the sword is drawn out, leaving Margali to collapse on her knees against the scorching sand. Death rapidly approaches the old sorceress. Belasco laughs with immense hilarity at the sight, while the black assassin remains silent, staring at her bleeding victim, the occult sword mysteriously glowing.

Her life rapidly ebbs, but Margali manages to gather enough strength to whisper her final words. She weakly raises herself on her hands, preparing to speak. More blood stains the ground as she spats the crimson liquid before confronting her mysterious assassin. The black woman stands unmoving--prepared for the question to come. In a barely audible voice, the dying sorceress whispers one final inquiry:

?W-Who?are?you??

A soft giggle is heard from behind the black mask as the young woman slowly removes it, revealing the truth to the horrified sorceress crumpled at her feet. Belasco remains silent, still smiling in a hilarious grin. Underneath the mask, the young assassin?s face appears. Blue skin covers the delicate features of a teenaged girl, around 17. Her golden eyes blaze with intense fury, as her soft lips are parted in an evil smile, revealing fine fangs underneath. Her dark hair blows with the wind, finally showing the pointed ears framing her sharp face. Her innocent beauty is marred by the murderous expression she wears as she addresses her grandmother in a dark and quiet tone. Her soft voice bares the slight indication of a German accent:

?It seems your lies have finally caught up with you Margali. Please say ?hello? to my mother when you see her.?

Both figures laugh with renewed intensity as Margali finally dies, with the picture of her granddaughter?s evil face burned in her mind for all eternity.

Violent, huh? It's not over yet! Nightcrawler and the X-Men comes in next...

[wonderlass]

one word: elric

i cant wait ooooo
imagine what intrige!

[BAMF!]

"I give it TWO thumbs up!"

Great job BAMFETTE!

BAMF!

[the_Bamfette]

Danke, everyone! I wasn't sure what a reaction this story would get considering the mood of it. Well, here's the last part to Chap. 1! I told you it was long; together with the two other parts, it was all one document! And before I present this part, I just wanted to say that I know I'm probally going to be bashed for my portrayal of Nightcrawler, but I just want to ask you to bear with me, things lighten up for the fuzzy elf in the second Chapter. So, that put aside, on with the story!:

Meanwhile?

Metallic sparks fly through the air as twin iron blades meets adamantium claws. Wolverine and Nightcrawler duel in the X-Men?s danger room. It has become a comic ritual for them; a chance for the best friends to prove their skills on each other, even though Wolverine always seems to win. This time, however, the situation is far from comical to the two spectators who watch with amazement from the danger room?s control room. Shadowcat sits at the control panel, amused at the mock battle being performed below. She has only actively returned to the X-Men a short while ago, though it did not take long for her to rekindle many of her friendships, most of which have lasted practically half her life. She has known Nightcrawler since she was 13, and while she has not always felt comfortable around him, he has always been with her whether it is in the X-Men or Excalibur; and Wolverine is Kitty?s strongest mentor, and is much like a father to her. She may have developed a more aggressive and defiant attitude since the Neo first appeared, but her strong sense of friendship and loyalty will never be forgotten. So, even though much of that attitude still remains since she returned to the X-Men, the now 20-year-old mutant tries her best to adapt to her changing friends; but still can?t help but smile at the violence below. There is cheeriness in her voice as she talks to her friend and field leader, Rogue, who stands anxiously behind her:

?This is turning out to be a really great fight. From the look of things, it seems Nightcrawler actually stands a chance down there; whatever happened to you two really changed him. What do you think Rogue? ?Rogue? Is everything alright??

The young mutant?s words seem to fall on deaf ears as Rogue watches her stepbrother from behind the glass. His attacks are furious and the strong, determined look on his face convinces Rogue that Shadowcat?s words are true. Nightcrawler has changed, and she knows neither him nor her will ever be the same again. It has been nearly a year since the event happened. Rogue and her brother swore to each other that the consequences of that day would never be ushered to anyone except themselves. Bastion had returned, but not the Bastion the X-Men had faced before; he seemed more human, more deceptive, and both Nightcrawler and Rogue could not shake the feeling that there was something eerily familiar about him. They had been brought into a trap, and they both knew that, but their mother was in danger, and they both had vengeances to seek on Bastion himself. The battle was fierce; Rogue, Nightcrawler and Mystique all faced massive injuries with Mystique still lying in intensive care at the Mansion. More damaging though, then any of the physical injuries the reunited family suffered, was the terrible secret revealed that day. It is the memory of that that haunts Rogue tremendously, and as she watches her brother, she can?t help but imagine how bad it is affecting Nightcrawler.

Shadowcat?s persistence pays off as Rogue snaps back to the present:

?Wha?..--Oh, Kitty, it?s just you. Yeah, ah?m fine. Ah?m just amazed at the fight down there!?

?That?s just what I was talking about. Kurt?s putting up a major battle, think he?s gonna win??

?Ah don?t know, Kitty. Ah don?t know??

Careful not to pry, Shadowcat remains quiet, though she can see worry and fright in her friend?s eyes. Rogue continues to look upon her brother; her mind racing with thoughts of fear:

?Oh Kurt, what has become of you? You may be winnin? that battle down there, but Ah?m afraid you might be losing the fight with yourself?and when you do, can my downfall be far behind??

Nightcrawler?s mind, much as Rogue?s was, is not focused on the current battle at hand, but the events of the past. To him, they are as real as the events occurring in front of him at the same moment. His heart pumps faster and his adrenaline flows at a rapid pace as he relives that day. A secret from his past had already been revealed, and Bastion took full advantage of the shocked family. Under Bastion?s control, Sabretooth was unleashed in his full feral fury, striking down on the small group who still stood in utter shock at what they had just heard. Mystique took the worst hits while doing her best to protect her son from the bestial mutant. Rogue attacked Bastion, releasing the anger and hurt he had caused her and her friends, years ago while Nightcrawler went after Sabretooth. Rogue may have been angry, but nothing could be compared to the fury he felt. Before him was the source of the pain and anger he felt, and the would-be murderer of his real mother. He only knew one way to stop him; his heart beat even faster at the notion and despite his wounds, he attacked Sabretooth. Even now, he could feel the muscles and the coarse hair of the large mutant?s neck. He felt his own muscles tense in his arms as he held his neck as tight as he can, despite the violent thrashing. All his body systems reached its maximum level; breathing, blood flow, heart rate, they all were preparing for what was to come next. Sweat dripped down his fur-covered face as he squinted his eyes and gritted his teeth. Inside, his mind was racing. Feelings of terror were mixed with feelings of anticipation and power as he literally held Sabretooth?s life in his hands. All the outside sounds could not be heard; only the anxious thoughts that this was an ending to all his suffering, all the shame; it would be no more?

?NO!!?

The present returns to his eyes, as he finds himself not within the abandoned military base, but in the cold, monotonous danger room. He is shocked to find his arms wrapped around Wolverine's neck in the same way he had Sabretooth. He looks down and finds himself uninjured, realizing that the older mutant had surrendered. Phasing down from the control room, Shadowcat quickly separates the two fighters. Anger and frightfulness fill her face as she turns toward Nightcrawler, bone daggers drawn. As she did before, she yells at the top of her lungs:

"What the HELL do you think you were doing? Have you completely gone insane Kurt, you could've killed him!"

Wolverine quickly intervenes, placing himself between his two teammates:

"Whoa, Kit, calm down. No harm was done."

He turns to his blue-furred friend, who stands ashamed, "Quite a match, elf, what do you say we call this one a draw and celebrate with a couple of brews?"

Kurt sighs, and looks away, catching a glimpse at his terrified sister, who waits far behind them.

?I?m sorry mein freund, but I can?t share your optimism. Katzen?s right, you could?ve been killed; I need some time alone right now to gain control of myself, I don?t want you or the others risking their lives because of me.?

As he turns to leave, he feels the gentle touch of Wolverine's hand on his shoulder:

?Hey, whatever?s botherin? ya elf, don?t be afraid to let it all out. We?re all here for you if you ever need help."

"Danke, Logan.? He places his own three fingered hand on his friend?s, still shaking, ?You?ve been my best friend, and we?ve been through a lot together, but this is something I have to deal with on my own; I?m afraid you could never understand what I'm going through.?

Nightcrawler solemnly walks away, while Rogue silently follows. Shadowcat stays close to her mentor, though shows signs of regret for the harsh words she had said only seconds ago. Traveling to his room, Nightcrawler pauses in front of the cell where his mother lies. He collapses to his knees, letting out a painful moan as he grabs his still injured ribs. Rogue comes closer to him, but after the events in the danger room, is still hesitant to approach him any closer.

"You?re wounds ain?t healed yet??

Panting heavily, fighting back painful tears, Nightcrawler speaks softly:

?The physical wounds will heal, I?m afraid the emotional scars will never go away.?
Nightcrawler picks himself up using the glass to hold him. Rogue overcomes her fear and approaches him close, using her own strength to help lift him, once on his feet he delicately pushes her away, unable to concede to his defeat.

?I?ll be okay.?

The feelings of intense pain are exchanged by feelings of frustration and sadness as his gaze returns to the comatose shape shifter. Rogue takes advantage of the sudden silence and speaks her concerns:

?Kurt, ah need to talk to you. What happened in the danger room??

?Is only proof that I cannot escape the curse brought upon me since my birth. I guess the saying is true, ?like father, like son?.?

?Call it a curse or not, but it?s something both you and I share. That woman in there, she may be your real mom, but she?ll always be a mother to me too. To know that she kept that secret for so long, that she could betray both of us, it hurts me too, Kurt. Seeing ya down there in the Danger Room, watching what was going on in your mind, it scared me, Kurt; 'cause ah have the same feelings. So tell me, brother, what am ah supposed to do? What can I do??

Nightcrawler looks away from the cell and begins to turn away, surprised at Rogue?s openness. Despite himself, he slightly smiles and turns around to meet his sister?s saddened eyes. His regains his seriousness as he answers her:

?Pray, Rogue. Pray for our sins, and hope our redemption is soon at hand.?

With that, the German mutant disappears into the deep shadows as he continues on into his room, determined to live up to his words. Rogue stands alone, and despite their dire situation, she smiles to herself.

?Perhaps there?s some hope after all,? she thinks; because despite all that has happened to him, how much he might have changed, nothing could ever shatter his faith. It gives her hope that as long as she has something she can believe in, the horror of the truth cannot ruin her life.

In his room, Kurt kneels at his bed. The images of the danger room, of the battle with Sabretooth, of Shadowcat?s and Rogue?s terrified faces, all flash through his mind. He feels confused, unsure of himself. He prays long and hard against the furious storm background, looking for answers to his endless questions. Exhausted both physically and spiritually after his prayers, he gently lies on his bed, hoping to escape the events of the day, lost in his own dreams. The furious storm rages on as he sleeps, and even as his eyes close, nearly half a world away, two long forgotten green eyes awaken to a new day?

?A little lie can hold the hate inside my mind.
?Cause what consumes your thoughts controls your life.
So I?ll just ask a question
A lonely, simple question
I?ll just ask one question:
What if, what if, what if, what if I?
What if you did?
What if you lied?
What if I avenge?
What if eye for an eye?

-What if, Creed

One of my favorite songs, by one of my favorite bands. I have an entire soundtrack to my story which I'll post later! So, that's it for chapter one. I'm not finished with Chapter 2 yet, but I'll post what I got so far in another topic. 'Til then, tell me what you think, and as soon as finals are over this week, I'll show you designs and redesigns for all the characters in the series, including a preview of some other characters to come...

I just love keeping you guys in suspense!

[wonderlass]

ooooooo
though its written as though recounted by some one, who?
and ooo is sabertooth dead?